Monthly Archives: January 2011

Selfless Parenting. What’s that?

Leave a reply

On Facebook today I asked people to comment on their thoughts around the word “selfless.” The answers have been entertaining and interesting. Anyone is free to friend me on Facebook and also join the conversation. I asked the question because I am teaching a workshop on this topic on Wednesday and I wanted to take an informal survey of my peers. As mothers, the word “selfless” brings up a complicated bag of emotions. We give so much in terms of time, energy and emotional resources. Everywhere we look, there are products and services telling us how we can “take time” for ourselves, as if spending a day at the spa will solve all of our problems. We all know, of course, that it may temporarily renew our soul, but a new parental challenge always lurks around the corner. It’s the nature of this life we have  chosen. Instead of forever looking outside myself for sources that are going to bring me peace in the midst of the lastest crazy sibling fight (today it is over the lego hat that everybody seems to want), I make a conscious effort to find that eternal spring of self-renewal within my internal stores. That doesn’t mean I never take a day off, or hour, or 30-seconds if I can be by myself in the bathroom for that long, it just means that I practice selfless parenting as a modus operandi. I can only define what this means for myself. Everyone will have an opinion based on a set of life-circumstances that are completely his or her own. My philosophy about selfless parenting is that it takes a certain amount of putting oneself in another man’s shoes (in this case, the shoes of a 2, 4 and 6 year old) to acquire a level of perspective helpful in the pursuit of paience. When I am selfless, I am taking the energy to act from a place of love, not from my ego (see Barbara Orendi’s comment in the Facebook thread). My ego distracts me with my “issues” that can mean all I see in front of me is stuff I have to deal with – including my children. Instead of just dealing with them, I would like to actually enjoy them. To enjoy them, I need to be able to understand their perspective in any situation and on any day (including today, which is a half day in our school district and means I am trying to work and keep them busy at the same time). To understand their perspective, I need to step out of my own head. To step out of my own head requires a certain amount of selflessness. To practice selfless parenting means to look for the best in my children even on their worst days. It also means that I devote enough time and energy to myself that I can happily devote myself to them during the majority of the hours they spend in my care. Selfless is NOT about being gloomily dutiful. Misery loves company and we all know that a miserable mom makes for miserable kids.  My selfless parenting approach makes me want to help my children see the best that is in them.  I don’t live for them, nor do I live through them. Instead, I live my life for myself in the most loving way possible. For me, that comes back to selfless. Our lives are equally as important. They need to know that I am there for them. I show that by being there for myself. Selfless parenting is nothing more than loving life no matter how it shows up. Even with a half-day and a ton of work to do, I appreciate each laugh and ride the wave of discontent until somehow, miraculously, the day winds down and we fall to sleep. Tomorrow I will have another opportunity to learn about myself through their words, actions and thoughts about life. That is the definition of selfless parenting. Learning about yourself by paying attention to your kids.

New Interview with Leta Hamilton on the Work At Home Success Show

Leave a reply

Leslie Golis Truex author of The Work At Home Success Bible and host of the Work At Home Success Show interviewed Leta Hamilton to discuss how to successfully combine working from home with full-time motherhood. Click on the link below to download this podcast. It is full of practical tips and resources for the at-home business model that includes small children tugging at your sweat-pant legs. If you are in need of support or suggestions, this is the interview for you. Please email your comments to thewayofthetoddler@gmail.com.

http://workathomesuccess.com/wahs-podcast-128-leta-hamilton-wahm-speaker-author/

WIN DAN MILLMAN BOOKS: Peaceful Warrior the Graphic Novel, Quest for the Crystal Castle and Secret of the Peaceful Warrior

Leave a reply

On today’s (January 25, 2011) “The Way of the Toddler Hour” we will be discussing books that have influenced how we raise our families. If you would like to be entered into a prize draw to win 3 Dan Millman books (Secret of the Peaceful Warrior, Quest for the Crystal Castle and Peaceful Warrior the Graphic Novel), email thewayofthetoddler@gmail.com with a book that has influenced how you raise your family. Together, we will build a library on www.thewayofthetoddler.com that will be free and available for all to use. Not every book will be for every person, but creating a list of resources will benefit everyone. Your ideas can help another parent in desperate need of some guidance in a challenging situation. I encourage everyone to share this message. It’s more than a prize draw. It’s an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of people who you may have never met, but will nevertheless be grateful for your willingness to share. Again, email thewayofthetoddler@gmail.com with your list of books that have influenced how you raise your family. Thank you.

Candace Murrow is this week’s Truly Amazing Woman on “The Way of the Toddler Hour”

Leave a reply


Candace Murrow is a highly intuitive short story writer, poet, and novelist living in Olympia, Washington. She writes about the intricacies of relationships and how people face life’s problems. The paranormal is a favorite subject of hers and inhabits many of her writings. Her collection of short stories The Day Mel Quit Dreaming and Other Stories was the Grand Prize Winner in the 2010 Rockford Writer’s Guild Press Contest. Here is her prize winning poem POET’S SONG:

Glimmerings of truth,
thoughts shed on paper,
unique as snowflakes
settling on summer’s ground,
soft,
delicate as chimes
tinkling in the wind.
The wordsmith breathes
the tune alive.

She is this week’s Truly Amazing Woman in the first of three local female authors being highlighted here on “The Way of the Toddler Hour.” As a writer myself, I am always humbled by the tenacity it takes to pursue a writing profession dream. When we become authors, it is the result of many nights of putting this dream above all other demands on our time, emotions and relationships. As an artist, poet, short story writer and novelist, Candace exemplifies the creative spirit that makes beauty an integral part of the human experience. Thank you, Candace, for all your hard work and tireless pursuit of inner expression made outwardly available to all. It is through this endeavor that each of us can share what binds us in our imperfections and vulnerabilities. Without words, art or music, the human spirit would slip into lonely isolation and wither without a means of expression. Here is Candace reading from her novel Visions of Hope:

Candace Murrow reading from Visions of Hope

The TrulyAmazing Woman segment of “The Way of the Toddler Hour” is inspired by Hope Katz Gibb’s book 100 Truly Amazing Women. For more information, see www.trulyamazingwomen.com.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Local mom makes inroads into inner peace for parents of under 5s

Leave a reply

If you have ever been around a child between 1 day and 5 years, you know that peaceful and parenting are two distinct states of being. However, one Sammamish resident is changing the long-standing belief that inner peace has to wait until one’s kids start school and leave the house. With a book about the spiritual lessons our children can teach us and a parenting radio talk show, this one woman crusade is all about finding peace even in the midst of the poopy diapers and piles of laundry.

Leta Hamilton does not mince words. Her D-I-A-P-E-R for Life Strategy (because poop happens) is just one way she conveys her pragmatic approach to inner peace for parents of under fives. “As a mom to a 3 and 1 year old, I was tired of every book on the subject of inner peace telling me I had to meditate for an hour a day (or more) when I didn’t even have time to go to the bathroom by myself.” Taking this frustration and using it constructively, she wrote, published and distributed her own book on inner peace techniques that involve a parent actually spending time with their child, as opposed to running away from them to find inner calm. Now she speaks to moms groups across the Puget Sound about what every mom can do quickly and easily to go from “Aaargh!” to “Ahhh,” all while adorable 3 year old is screaming in the local QFC. This actually happened to Hamilton when she wouldn’t buy her middle son a doughnut. “Everyone was looking at me. But, with this training, I felt peace in my heart during every moment of this very public tantrum.” Any parent who has ever been out in public with their child knows that at one point or another peace will fly out the window and frustration, anger or downright despair will take its place.

In an effort to reach more parents, Leta started her own parenting radio talk show called “The Way of the Toddler Hour” to focus on how parents, mothers especially, can find peace and happiness from the inside out. So far she has interviewed such noted celebrities as Joe Vitale, Dr. Charlotte Reznick and Dan Millman. “All of my guests are experts in fields that serve a parent in his or her own personal journey to inner peace. My show is not about ‘shoulds’ or adding more to your To-Do List; rather, it is a forum for spiritual upliftment.” With weekly spiritual lessons from a Benedictine convent in Cottonwood, Idaho, a segment featuring product reviews by Cara Nitz of Your World: Healthy & Natural starting in February (http://www.yourworldnatural.blogspot.com) and a “Truly Amazing Woman” featurette each week (inspired by Hope Katz Gibbs’ book 100 Truly Amazing Women and a former guest of Leta’s) highlighting a woman or women doing great things to serve their communities, “The Way of the Toddler Hour” is more than just your standard interview show. “I like to think that one day soon, motherhood will be viewed as a spiritual path in its own right for a journey to inner peace,” says Hamilton. In the meantime, she will continue to practice what she teaches with her own three children, currently 6, 4 and 2 years old – and all boys. “If I can do it, anybody can,” says Leta with a smile. She’s off to change a poopy diaper now.

FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT:

Leta Hamilton

715 222nd Place NE

Sammamish, WA 98074

541-505-1442

Vote for your favorite

1 Reply

Caroline Tucker from Somereset, England sent me the link to her wire-sculpture website and asked me to share her creations with my listeners on “The Way of the Toddler Hour” (every Tuesday 2pm pst, 5pm est, 10pm gmt) on www.toginet.com). My personal favorite is the hummingbird. Check out Caroline’s creations and send me a comment with your favorite and you will be entered into a prize draw for a free Marcus Gale CD (kids music), a Mission Statement for Motherhood print, the signed copy of Everything I Need to Know About Motherhood I Learned from Animal House by Christina-Marie Wright and a signed copy of The Way of the Toddler by Leta Hamilton. Go to http://wireworks-sculpture.blogspot.com and cast your vote in the comments section below. The winner of the prize draw will be announced in two weeks (that’s January 25th).

Cara Nitz to provide product reviews on “The Way of the Toddler Hour” starting in February

Leave a reply

Cara Nitz of Your World: Healthy and Natural will be providing “The Way of the Toddler Hour” with product reviews starting in February. Her blog (http://www.yourworldnatural.blogspot.com) provides many reviews of natural, safe and earth-healing products that benefit baby and mom (or parents). I am pleased to announce this collaboration and look forward to hearing first hand what Cara has in store for us.

Derrick Hayes is my guest on “The Way of the Toddler Hour” Tuesday, Jan 11

Leave a reply

You can read a more detailed bio by clicking on the “Guests” tab of my website or by going to www.derrickhayes.com. I first met Derrick when I responded to a call for 50 word essays he was posting on his web site as a way to encourage people to write. I spent some time reading the essays of the other entries and I was humbled by all the beautiful words I read. Intrigued by this man, I began reading more about him and knew that he would make an inspiring guest for “The Way of the Toddler Hour.” He calls himself an Encouragement Speaker, which I like as an alternative to the ubiquitous Motivational Speaker. For many of us moms (parents in general), it is not about lack of motivation. We don’t need someone lighting a fire underneath our proverbial behinds and telling us to do more. In fact, most of us are doing all that we can – literally – with the 24 hours we are given in a day. What we do need, however, from time to time is a little encouragement, someone to tell us it is all going to be ok no matter how crazy our day was. I like Derrick a lot. I like his message. I like what he is doing and being in the world. We need more Derricks! A quick review of his web site will inspire you for days. Derrick uses words to start us thinking in new, more positive, ways that serve us better. As a word (and acronym) lover myself, I am drawn to his style. As a guest, he will be a breath of fresh air and a fountain of encouragement. He’s a dad too, so knows the realities of being a parent. I am so looking forward to interviewing him tomorrow. If you cannot join me live, please download the podcast at http://toginet.com/rss/itunes/thewayofthetoddlerhour.

Dancing in the New Year

Leave a reply

 As the first week of January 2011 comes to a close, it feels right to consider what last year has taught me and what I will learn in 2011. There is value in reflecting on how far we have come over the course of twelve months as we learn and become the people we came here to be. No matter how far I still feel there is to go to reach my highest potential, I can look back and acknowledge that I know more now than I did a year ago. Life provides me constant opportunities to make choices that either serve in my quest to be at peace with myself no matter what or work against that elusive ideal. An hour of meditation on the subject gives me the space to count up where my choices have landed me going into the New Year. This week, in particular, brought me the unique privilege of participating in a dance that did give two hours of time to figure out what I needed to about last year and set the stage for 2011.

Leaving my three children with dad for the evening and going to a friend’s rented makeshift dance studio, I took off my shoes and opened myself up for whatever was to come. The purpose of this new form of dance is to integrate the masculine quality of action with the feminine qualities of emotion and intuition. As one dances to the music, we are given specific thoughts by the leader to ponder and bring forth into expression through the movement of our bodies. It sounds weird, but it really works. By actively imagining while you are moving, your mind and heart open up and things come to you that simply cannot permeate the busy-ness of day-to-day activity. For me I learned how much I have strived in this last year to see what has been hidden from me because I am blocked by fear or frustration. On the up side, I understood that seeing has an internal and an external component.

My three kids see a mom with their eyes that weighs twenty more pounds than she should, does her hair maybe once a week, wears a mouth guard and yells probably more than necessary. What are they seeing with their hearts? I would like to believe they are seeing a mom who loves them, values their presence in her life, shows them respect, responds lovingly to their needs and guides them with a solid grip so they feel safe to explore the world and become familiar with it. Inwardly, I wonder how they see themselves and how much it differs from how I see them with my eyes. The dance experience of this week allowed me to see at the same time how I see myself with my heart and, by dancing in front of a lot of mirrors, how I see myself with my eyes. At first, all I wanted to do was close my eyes. Through force of sheer will, I completed the dance having looked at myself in the mirror for its entirety. The result: I liked myself better than I have in years. I took the time to move past my insecurities about my body and just accept it for how it looks today.

This body has served me well. It has cocooned three babies and delivered them into the world in perfect health. It is the expression of the love I feel within and gives me the ability to smile and wrap my arms around my husband and children. For the first time in years, I am able to focus on and appreciate the blessing that my body is and always has been. The eyes of my heart see a woman worth loving. The eyes of my head look at that woman in the mirror and see the same. With that, I realize the things that felt so hidden in 2010 were hidden only to the extent that I could not integrate these two aspects of seeing. The next twelve months will be about fostering that connection and making the eyes of the heart and the eyes of the head see the world, my children included, with one will, one unified vision of understanding that each one of us is doing the best that we can with where we are right now on our unique journey through life. In this, we all are the same and we are all blessings.