Today I interviewed Bella Casarella on “The Way of the Toddler Hour.” She is a money coach and financial advisor with a background in the healing arts – just the kind of combo I love. I learned a lot from this interview, not least of which is the saying, “You can never get enough of what you don’t need.” Get it? Needs are met by addressing them. Too often, and especially when it comes to money, we address the stuff we don’t need way more than the stuff we do. Bella used the example of a time a few years ago when she found herself buying an expensive coffee almost every day. As a financial advisor, she knew that she would be saving a ton of money by not going into the local coffee shop every day and buying her latte. Instead of beating herself up over all those lattes she didn’t need, she asked herself how the latte was compensating for a deeper need. At a time in her life when she was spending a lot of time alone, she realized that the latte represented connection with her community, which is what she needed. When she identified the real need, she was able to diversify and find ways other than buying a coffee every day to feel connected with the outside world. If she had not done that inner inquiry, she would have been filling her days with lattes that she didn’t need for even longer. She asks us to engage with our money as a relationship of equals. By doing so, we can see when and how our spending aligns with our deeper values. As a starting point, she suggests we track our expenses to open up the “code” of our patterns and where we are endlessly compensating for those things that we do need, but aren’t addressing, with things that we don’t. Another suggestion was to spend a week (or even a day) Cash Only plan and to see how our values and spending habits change when we aren’t using plastic. Really, it’s all about staying engaged with our money and conscious of what we are doing with it. It is about relationship. Any relationship, whether with another person or with an inanimate object, will benefit from conscious engagement. This is what our children most desperately want from us – to be consciously engaged with them as human beings. This is why a baby smiles at such a young age. I encourage you to listen to the podcast. It is a deeply insightful exploration of how we can overcome limiting beliefs about money and create a relationship with it that is mutually beneficial. I will NEVER get enough of what I DON’T need. By figuring out what I DO need, I am one step closer to healing my relationship with money. When I know what I need at the core of my soul, I can make sure that I address those areas without ending up at Starbuck’s everyday (as much as I do love a latte).
(http://toginet.com/rss/itunes/thewayofthetoddlerhour PODCAST IS READY! Today we interviewed Bella Casarella, money coach and financial advisor at The Art and Soul of Money. She gave practical and easy to follow tips for healing our relationship with money. This is a note taker, so get a pen and paper ready! Learn about money personalities and archetypes, unhelpful cultural messages, how money can be a spiritual growth tool and much more!)
On tomorrow’s “The Way of the Toddler Hour” Love and Logic will be the theme. My sister is a big time convert to the parenting philosophy and I am a complete virgin to it. I have always had a slight aversion to ‘how to’ parenting classes and Love and Logic is no exception. Maybe, in this case, it’s the word “logic” that doesn’t sit well with me. Is there anything logical about our children? Or about parenthood? Each child is an individual soul (as are we) with a complex mix of nature and nurture attributes that do not make for simple answers to anything involving life, which is, um, everything. Not that Love and Logic offers “simple answers.” I really don’t have enough familiarity to say anything about it one way or another. Watch this space because tomorrow afternoon I’ll be a whole lot more educated on the subject. Will Lori and my guest, veteran Love and Logic teacher Sandy Klein, turn me into a Love and Logic groupie?
What purpose do parenting classes and philosophies such as Love and Logic serve? In a word, they help us “deal” with our kids. I think it says more about us adults that we need a class to give us guidance on how to talk and negotiate the immature egos of our children. First of all, where has the village gone that provides a group of adults that all work together to steer the children in self-affirming directions? Secondly, where is the self-affirming center within us grown ups? Yes, I am frustrated with the violence displayed by my middle child, but does that mean I am failing as a human being? Lastly, what am I missing when I know the tools for succeeding in convincing my middle son (yes, him again) to hold my hand while we cross the street, but I neglect to wake up an hour before they do in the morning and spend in prayer that time?
Techniques without an inkling of context are never going to be as effective as they could be if used inside the framework of what I like to call “The Bigger Picture.” I am a small part of an infinite collection of hearts and minds with feelings and thoughts just as real as mine. All of those that have come before me or that are still in the making are part of the endless ocean we call the human experience. My effectiveness as a mother is only one aspect of the whole woman I know as Leta Hamilton. The tools I use in my parenting are a piece of all the tools I have at my disposal to live a happy and fulfilled life. Without the spiritual component of my hour of prayer each morning, what limits do I place on that overall toolbox of helpful techniques for peace in everyday existence?
I cannot answer for you, but peace in everyday existence is what I am going for. It’s a self-sustaining peace that is not dependent on the good behavior of my children. Their good behavior is a desired result, but my peace is not dependent upon it. I agree that Love and Logic will have some helpful techniques that will assist me in talking to my children in respectful, but firm, ways. I look forward to learning them. However, nothing is complete without other components that make up the “Bigger Picture” of the Leta Hamilton Toolbox of Peaceful Everyday Existence.
“I really enjoyed your speech today. Thank you! I have a lot to think about and am going to be making some changes I’m looking forward to downloading and listening to your broadcasts and tuning in to next week’s show.”
Do you have a product or service that could be useful to moms from London to Seattle and everywhere in between? “The Way of the Toddler Hour” is giving away 4 FREE 30-second commercials for 4-weeks of air time.
Send your product description or service to email@example.com. Leta will choose 4 lucky winners to receive 4 weeks of FREE commercials on “The Way of the Toddler Hour.” Winners must be able to provide a 30-second audio file for Leta to play on her show. This contest closes Monday, February 14, so act quickly. Leta will announce the winners on her February 15th show (on Love & Logic).
This is Leta’s Valentine’s gift to her listeners. Thank you for your continued support.
We had our first product review with Cara Nitz of Your World: Healthy and Natural. This week she talked about Babo Botanicals. Our Truly Amazing Woman of the Week was Corbin Lewars. Then we interviewed Dr. David Walker, a Psychologist on faculty at Argosy University. Memorable highlights from that interview were a California study about praise and school achievement, mirroring neurons, the book “Transforming the Difficult Child,” how the Ba’Hai faith informs Dr. Walker as a psychologist, conclusive studies that prove children hear 4 negative comments from their parents for every positive comment, the book “The 7 Big Fights of Marriage,” The Virtues Project. We talked about much more than just that. Download the podcast by visiting the show archive page of this website.
Here is an audio clip of Corbin reading from her memoir Creating a Life about her journey to conceive and become a professional writer at the same time. It is a moving story of making both personal and professional dreams come true. We do not live our lives in isolation. That’s an obvious statement, but we can still be unprepared for the reactions those nearest and dearest to us have when we tell them our intentions for the direction of our lives. Whether this is risking financial uncertainty to pursue a writing career or making the choice to have a home birth, we keep having to put up with other people’s opinions. When those opinions come from our closest friends and family members, they can sting. We must learn to live authentically, according to our own inner compass. This is one of our greatest tasks, if not the greatest, of being a human – living with the world, but not being defined by what other people think. What Corbin has accomplished is noteworthy; she has achieved motherhood and a writing profession against the tide of doubts that those closest to her breathed in her ear all along this struggle to be who she was.